Apr 16 - A Long Day

  Tuesday was a long day.  I had a mini-success with one of my debtors so that meant a trip to the the bank.  I had a mini-success with my car park reconciliation.  I found two issues which have been present for about two years so I now can work backwards to fix it retrospectively (hell of a lot of time involved in that of course but at least it feels achievable now).  I had a mini-success with my meeting with the security staff.  I hate speaking at meetings, I never know what to say and I always fear that I'll end up looking like an idiot because of my propensity for thinking out loud.  I always just say what I'm thinking which is not always the end of my thought process and can get me into a lot of trouble.  I even had a mini-success with placating a creditor.
  Of course, none of these made me feel any better.  I still feel like I'm drowning in a sea of paperwork and that I have no idea what I'm doing, or at least do not have the remotest chance of getting it all done in the time allotted.  Tomorrow I have a catch up with my boss to get some feedback on how I'm going.  I'm hoping that it will reassure me.  I know I'm pretty hard on me, more so than any one else ever has been, so hopefully that's the only reason I'm stressing.  I expect even if the feedback is gold-coated positivity I shall still continue to stress out enormously.
  After lunch I did a little retail therapy to blow off steam.  I walked to the corner of the block to get the latest Big Issue magazine, then I went to Big W to look for new jeans and a winter coat.  I wasn't really expecting to find anything but for a mere $45 I found an attractive black and white number.  It completely covers my bum and has enough room around the neck to accommodate a nice thick scarf too when it gets really cold.  I bought the size 20 so that it fits over a jumper and also because they didn't have any 18s.  It's not often the nice clothes only come in big girl sizes!
  I worked back a few hours today, I've given up trying to get to pilates, it's just frustrating having to cancel all the time because work or the commute interferes.  It was doubly-frustrating having to cancel tonight as the working back is not even going to get me ahead, it's only going to make up for the time out of my day the fire evacuation exercise will take up.  So frustrating!

  Tuesday's food was:

• Two slices of toasted Bürgen wholemeal and seeds bread spread with Nutino chocolate-hazelnut spread.
• Morning snack was a ripe William Bartlett pear.
• Lunch was a 300g Red Thai Chicken soup with two slices of toasted Bürgen wholemeal and seeds bread spread with Devondale butter and cut into soldiers.
• Afternoon snacks were a small unripeish banana, a mandarin and 5g Lindt 85% Cocoa dark chocolate.
• Dinner was beef yakiniku with rice from Hanaichi, a cheap and very popular Japanese eatery at QV.

  As you can tell, I am also frustrated that work is eating into blog writing time.  This may result in a few shortish blogs from here on in.  I intend to write one blog per day until the end of June (which will make it one full year) but from there I will be re-assessing my level of commitment to it.  Everything takes time time time and it's unfortunately a commodity in which I am unfortunately increasingly lacking.  Any ideas for fixing this state of affairs will be gratefully received.
  Jess