Dec 31 - The Year In Review

  I thought I would spend the last day of the year sharing some of the significant and mostly good things that happened to me this year.  Each year, as we all know, is not without its trials but rather than dwell on them, I prefer to celebrate the joys.

  In January I joined Plenty of Fish, an online dating website.  My profile began with the tagline "Well read? Affectionate? Apply Here!" On the 24th of Jan I received this message which sparked my interest in someone special. "How would you define well read?  I read a lot of books, but not sure if any of them would be considered high literature!"  It was a clever question asked with correct spelling and grammar.  How could I not respond?  This was not your everyday man.  So respond I did and over a hundred emails and text messages later, on a sunny afternoon at Lake Reserve, Coburg on the 31st of Jan, I met the man who you've all come to know as Mr Smart.
  In February, well it's my birthday so that's always a plus but I think the top achievement for this month was on the 23rd of February.  My work team went bowling at AMF Forest Hill and I scored my highest bowling score ever: 100!  It even included one strike!  I know, I'm still pathetically bad at bowling, but we had a really fun night and I really felt good about my score.
  In March I headed up to Brisbane for Earnest's birthday.  We couldn't afford a fancy dinner so we ate at home and watched a bunch of cool movies.  It was only a quick trip but it's always great to see him though I can't help but think sometimes that the 1800km distance between us seems way too big!
  In April, my friend Teddy and I declared April 2nd to be Trogg Day.  Trogg Day is all about peace, love and music and is the primary religious holiday of the Church of Trogg, an imaginary religion Teddy and I created over the course of many emails and one very giggly night in Boston.  We even wrote eleven commandments for those wishing to identify as Troggy.  My favourite is A Trogg Shall Love.  It's the first and foremost commandment and the truest way for a Troggy to be.
  I took the first week of May off work and spent a fabulous fun time in Adelaide with my family.  I got to see Nathan Sawaya's Lego Art Exhibition, toured around the Barossa, went to a classical music concert, saw the Pandas at the zoo with my adorable nieces, saw Dolphins in the Port River with JoJo, and had a huge family barbecue when Bertie and my nephew joined us (they were staying for the week after mine).  I had a great time.
  In June my best friend Earnest visited me for a week.  He got to meet Mr Smart and the three of us went for dinner at Cafe 58.  We got to hang out, watch movies, talk until the wee hours of the morning and see the Mesopotamia exhibition at the Melbourne Museum.  It was so great to get to see him for a whole week.
  In July I started this blog and my fabulous journey into my new world of health, wealth and wisdom.  Admittedly these are still all works in progress, but baby steps people, baby steps.  I can't thank you all enough for how much support you've given me and for the great compliment you pay me by being interested in and even entertained by my life and writing.  It's meant so much to me.
  In August on the 17th my divorce was finally granted.  Divorce is never a fun or good thing, but this day marked a release nevertheless and peacefully and quietly closed a large chapter in my life.
  September 16th saw the completion of my almost month long hunt for Mali the Elephant statues around Melbourne.  Click here to see all the Mali statues if you missed them the first time around.  It gave me an enormous sense of accomplishment to find all 50 Malis and I was pleased as punch that my determined three year old nephew managed to see more than half of them with me.  He's a real little trooper!
  On October 6th I lost my paternal Granny.  This is the only sad event I shall allow in my reflections here.  She was an amazing lady and you can click here to read the post I wrote to her memory.  The only silver lining to the whole sad event was that the loss brought all the family together and we gathered after her funeral and reminisced about our time with her and laughed at the happy memories.
  In November I finally went back and visited a place I'd been longing to see since I was 15 years old!  My trip to Tasmania with Mr Smart was an amazing experience and I wouldn't have traded it for anything.  Spectacular scenery, friendly people, great fresh food, lovely wines and wonderful animals everywhere!  I can't wait to do it again someday.
  In December my baby sister Gub came home and we finally got to meet each others' partner.  We conferred in private away from the boys' ears after the happy event and I'm pleased to report that both boys got two thumbs up from the other sister.  December of course also brought Christmas, one of my favourite times of year, though fraught with danger from a dietary perspective.  Tomorrow's weigh in should be interesting!  Eeep!

  Thank you to each and every one of you for making this such a great year.  For sharing life and laughs with me, for taking those 2am phone calls, for being honest with me, for not shying away from any topic of conversation, for coming with me to things I didn't want to face alone, for staying with me when I needed you, for saying what the hell and doing something new with me and finally, for loving me the way I am.  I couldn't ask for better friends or family than you.

  Today's food was (no pictures so that I could get this out on time):

• Breakfast was two small pieces of toasted Turkish bread spread with margarine and Vegemite and a 170g tub of Dairy Farmers Thick & Creamy Field Strawberries 98% fat free yoghurt.
• Lunch was four hand rolls from Sushi Sushi with a little dish of Japanese mayonnaise.  California Roll, Salt & Pepper Calamari, Crispy Chicken and Salmon.
• Afternoon snack was a choc chip cookie, a Mint Slice biscuit, a tiny piece of Cadbury Dairy Milk and a teensy weensy Fry's Turkish Delight (the last two treats in my drawer).
• Dinner and many drinks are about to be had at Mr Smart's sister's house.  I am not going to try to record them all.  Let's just say I ate and drank too much for one last day of the year! 

   I won't go in to the details of the party we went to tonight but I will relate back one cool thing happened at work today. Our Maintenance Officer rescued a couple of feral kittens that had fallen from in between floors down the inside of a column. He cut out a panel and fished the hissing, spitting, scratching buggers out. I got to hold one of them and only suffered minor injury. It bit my right-hand index finger and scratched the hell out of my pinkie but I calmed it down enough to get this photo taken by my wonderful offsider. Normally we take these litters of kittens straight to the RSPCA or the local vet for care and placement with a family but these lucky two have gone home with a big-hearted BigW staff member.
   Farewell 2012, Good Luck Kittens and Happy New Year Everyone!!
   Jess

Dec 30 - In The Spotlight

  A late start to the day again, 11am this time.  I really need to start getting to bed earlier, but I don't know, there always seems to be something more fun to do than sleeping.
  I wanted to do a couple of errands today so I showered and dressed and managed to get out of the house by half-noonish.  I went to Kmart where Mr Smart had advised there was a Homemaker brand pod coffee machine for just $29 which was compatible with the Nespresso pods.  I got their to find none left in stock other that the shelf/demo model.  I looked at it and pictured it in my kitchen taking up valuable real estate on the benches and thought, no.. it will wait a while longer.
  I headed off to Waverley Gardens thinking I would just grab a dozen tins of my favourite tuna at Woolworths, since it no longer seems to be available at Coles, only to find it was now no longer available at Woolworths either.  This was somewhat infuriating.  The second futile trip for the day and left me wondering what on earth to do about my tuna supply.
  My third stop was far more successful.  I went to Spotlight to grab Christmas fabrics!  I really was pleased as punch with how well my Santa sack this year turned out so I have now committed myself to making more of them for Christmas next year.  Christmas fabrics were already running very low and were 75% off!  I got some gorgeous Aussie themed ones, a Grinch fabric and some other not so unique but still pretty Christmas designs.  Along with the ribbon I got at The Reject Shop earlier, I am all set for a massive solo sewing bee.  The Seamstress will be pleased as punch.

   After a successful errand run (finally) I quickly grabbed a Ham & Pineapple Pizza Slice from Baker's Delight for lunch then headed home.  On my return home I ate said Pizza Slice and an almost ripe banana and went to the Conga Foods website to submit a plea for the names of stockists of the Sole Mare tuna I seek.   I just want the 95g tins of Sole Mare Tuna in Olive Oil so if anyone happens to spot them, please tell me!

  After lunch I'm afraid the day was fairly dull but productive as far as blog-writing goes.  With this entry in fact I am finally up to date.  Woohoo!  I don't like being behind, certainly not that far behind!  I don't mind doing Saturday's on Sunday, but almost seven days behind was a bit much.  I end up forgetting the little things that make my days worthwhile.
  For dinner tonight I made a plate of leftover bits and pieces.  Salami, mushrooms, yellow capsicum, Kraft Onion & Bacon dip, Turkish bread, Yumi's Eggplant dip, Perino snacking tomatoes and a few baby bocconcini.  After dinner I made a teeny-tiny Baileys on ice.  Two ice cubes and Baileys in an espresso cup, with a single milk-chocolate Lindor Ball.  It was yummy but I think next time I will dilute the Baileys a bit with milk.  I might be starting to enjoy the odd drink, but it still seems to be pretty strong a lot of the time.

  So that's it, nothing much more to do.  Pack a bag for tomorrow night I suppose.  I'm headed off to Mr Smart's sister's place for New Year's Eve and if I end up feeling like it, I may even get properly drunk for the first time.  May not be a good idea, but it's a new one and life gets pretty boring if you always stick with the sensible plan.  That said though, all of you going out tomorrow night to celebrate and get silly, for the love of all you hold dear, do not drink and drive.  Have a very happy and safe New Year's Eve everyone.
  Jess

PS: Hmmm.. only 9pm, must be finally time to try out Torchlight 2!!  Hooray1!

Dec 29 - Skyfall at The Astor

  I got up late in the day, 10am or so, mucked about then made myself a brunch of bits and pieces.  Some Perino snacking tomatoes, someTurkish bread cut up and toasted, some Yumi's Eggplant dip and Kraft Onion & Bacon dip, two dried peach halves, a 170g tub of Dairy Farmers Thick & Creamy Vine Passionfruit 98% fat free yoghurt, a sliced yellow-flesh peach and a slightly unripe banana.  I followed that up a while later with a snack of six sweeties.  Good news, I am definitely starting to run lower on sweeties.

  I spent much time blogging and expected to spend a lot more time on them both today and in days to come.  I didn't have anything much else to do as I wasn't seeing Mr Smart tonight.  Luckily for me, at around 4:30pm as I began to feel a little bored and lonesome, I had an unexpected but delightful invitation from TwoWrongs.  Would I like to go see the latest James Bond film Skyfall at the historic old Astor theatre?  Yes!
  About an hour later TwoWrongs picked me up and we headed into Chapel Street.  It had been a while since I'd been in Chapel Street, definitely a fair few months if not more, and even longer since I'd been at the Astor.  I think the last movie I saw at the Astor was also a Bond film actually, but it would've been about 13 years ago.
  We parked behind Paintspot near the Dandenong Road, Chapel Street intersection.  I hadn't known about that carpark, metered parking but very convenient to our planned activities.  It was about an hour and a half until the film started so we headed down Chapel Street to High Street and then back up in search of a bite to eat before the movie.

  It turns out that TwoWrongs is as indecisive as Mr Smart and I am, so consequently we had an equal amount of difficulty picking a place to eat.  In the end we settled on Thai Food To Go at 141 Chapel Street.  It's fitted out like a hipster paradise.  Mismatched chairs, interesting and varied lampshades, kitsch decorations and posters adorning the walls, tables seemingly grabbed at random from junk shops, and assorted Op Shop tablewares.  Our table was a rickety old Singer sewing machine table which TwoWrongs stabilised with a number of cardboard coasters.
  They brought 'hydration' to the table in a suitably 'effortless cool' second-hand looking bottle and left us to look over a couple of menus.  I chose a betel leaf starter, fried tofu and yum taleh (mixed seafood salad with lime, herbs and fish sauce).
  Any and all pretension was forgiven when the food arrived because it really was all rather good.  TwoWrongs had a Thai beer with his meal, a Singha, and we joked about having a Singha on a Singer.  It wasn't an expensive meal in the least and I'd probably go back there again if I was in the area.  I prefer the way Cafe 58 does betel leaf but what I had here was also very enjoyable.

  We headed up to The Astor which is on the far side of the Dandenong Road, Chapel Street intersection.  The Astor is the last old single screen cinema of it's kind.  It's got an old fashioned box office, an old fashioned candy bar (though selling some up to date treats and alcoholic beverages) and it even has it's own resident cat!
  The Astor's 75 year run of bringing joy to movie goers was placed in jeopardy this year.  St Michael's Grammar School, who owned the building, were planning to shut down the cinema as known and convert it into a performing arts centre for the school.  Luckily a knight in shining armour, St Kilda businessman Ralph Taranto, bought the building and stated publicly that his plan it was to continue operating as Melbourne’s most iconic film house.  Phew!
  We headed up the stairs to grab snacks and our seats and found Marzipan, The Astor cat, sitting on one of her many sofas trying to convince a patron to part with some of her icecream and we had a quick pat as we went to line up for snacks.  She's getting on in age now and has that delicate thin feel about her but she seems very content in her surrounding with throngs of people buzzing around her in various queues.

  I selected a Spearmint Choc Top and a 100g box of Maltesers to assist in my viewing pleasure.  TwoWrongs got a Wildberry Choc Top and a coffee.  We managed to get sets up the back in the middle.  Almost the back row but not quite.  Regrettably, two of the most annoying bloody children it's ever been my misfortune to endure a movie with were in the back row.
  The start of the movie played and then the iconic Bond title sequence began, so did the incessant rustling of popcorn brought in a plastic bag from home.  They sell it in cups for a reason people!!  Cups don't rustle!  TwoWrongs and I were forced to turn and glare and even verbally insist that they bloody shut up.  Their mother innefectually snapping at them to be quiet and 'put it down' just didn't seem to sink in without the assistance of strangers.
  The film itself was fantastic!  I had not seen any of the Daniel Craig Bond films, partly because I just hadn't gotten around to it but mostly because I'd heard that they had strayed recklessly away from the Bond film traditions.  This however, was back to Bond basics and utterly fabulous.  The crowd roared with laughter at the pithy but oh so appropriate jokes and squealed with delight at familiar sights and sounds.  Actual applause was heard on at least two occasions.  I would probably even go and see that one again.  I grabbed the classic Astor timetable poster as we left.  I may not have been to The Astor much recently, but I think I'm going to start again.  I'd forgotten what a great experience it was (rudely noisy children notwithstanding).
  TwoWrongs and I debated having a coffee somewhere but both needed sleep so we decided to get home.  As we walked into the now eerily dark and vacant car park we were approached by a young man, rather drunk "Can you believe it, my battery's just died, you wouldn't have jumper leads wouldja?"  We looked at the car, a shiny black brand-new looking thing with a beer carton and empty bottles all around it.  "Sorry mate, don't have any, and my piece of shit car doesn't have the power to jump start you anyway".
  We got into the car and left quickly.  He did in fact have jumper leads.  When you have an older car they are kind of a necessity, but we both agreed we'd got a really really bad vibe from that guy.  Maybe they'd just been drinking in the parking lot listening to loud music and genuinely run their battery down that way, but neither of us thought so.
  TwoWrongs dropped me home and headed off himself, a busy day of family-stuff ahead of him, and I went in to finish posting a few catch-up blogs.
  Jess

Dec 28 - Food Improving

  Due to that fact that I was up very late again, this time finishing my last Joe Abercrombie book, and yesterday's dizzy spell, I decided to make and eat breakfast before getting in the shower.  That usually seems to help and it certainly did the trick today.  The only problem that caused was that I was handling a fruit knife before I'd really woken up so I did manage to slice the top of my left-hand ring finger.  Oh well.. it'll heal.
 Work passed slowly but at least a little more productively today.  It was so quite in the office but this wasn't an altogether bad thing as it allowed me to train up one of the receptionists in a new task.  She's keen to 'up-skill' as part of her three year career plan and I'm happy to share the knowledge.
  I popped into The Reject Shop at lunch today.  All their Christmas stock is down to 50% already so I grabbed quite a few rolls of good quality Christmas ribbon.  Since my Santa sack for Gub and the Cambridge Rower worked out so well I plan to make more similar ones for next year.  Hopefully not at the last minute this time but we shall see.  I also grabbed some extra wrapping paper rolls from Coles that were marked down too.  Just after Christmas is the best time to buy Christmas stuff!

  Today's food was:

• Breakfast was a quarter cup of Carmen's Classic Fruit & Nut Muesli topped with Jalna Greek Vanilla Yoghurt and a sliced yellow-flesh peach.
• Lunch wasa Nandos Classic Chicken Wrap, a regular spicy rice and a 390ml Coke Zero.
• Afternoon snack was Baker's Delight Apple Strudel Scone.
• Dinner was a burger of Turkish bread, cheese, a fried egg, 260g (raw weight) Greek-style lamb rump steak, Perino snacking tomatoes, baby cos lettuce and Yumi's Eggplant dip.  It was delicious but extremely messy.
• Dessert was four milk chocolate Lindor Balls.

  The evening passed quietly as I desperately tried to catch up on blogging (which I am of course still doing as I write this on Sunday 30th, but at least I'm getting close now!) but I also passed the time away chatting online with Earnest and other friends.  I'm a little sad that I won't get to see Mr Smart this weekend but we both have so much to catch up on and I will get to see him on New Year's Eve which is only a day after the weekend so it's not so bad I suppose.
  Jess

Dec 27 - Back to Work, Kind Of...

  I felt woozy this morning and had to take a little lie down on the bathroom floor.  This was brought on by a horrible combination of staying up way too late reading my last Joe Abercrombie book (nearly 2am but I'm so close to the end and everything is so exciting!), getting up early due to my offsider's still being on Christmas break, not eating breakfast before jumping in a hot shower and generally too high blood sugar due to the Christmas period.  I didn't measure how high, but I expect it's been up the creek lately.
  As a result of all that I was a little vague today at work.  I mainly focused on an incident report for Boxing Day which required a lot of evidence review and walking outside taking photos.  It was a pleasant enough way to while away the time.  The Marketing Manager was again filling the day with calls of "Why are we here?".  Not an existential question in this case, more of a rhetorical, 'we shouldn't have to be here when there is fun to be had'.  The advantage of being back at work is that the more routine, the better I end up eating.

  Today's food was:

• Breakfast was a 170g tub of Dairy Farmers Thick & Creamy Vine Passionfruit 98% fat free yoghurt.
• Morning snack was a third of a tube of BBQ Pringles and two mini Moro bars.
• Lunch was a Subway six inch Italian BMT with Old English cheese, lettuce, tomato, cucumber and pickles and three steamed dim sims with soy sauce.
• Afternoon snack was four Diamond Creek chocolates.
• Dinner was a 325g Moroccan Vegetable Tagine, a sliced Lebanese cucumber and 212g (raw weight) Greek-style lamb rump steak.

   Still a few too many junky snacks in that mix I'll confess, but as the holiday season dies out and treats become less plentiful, it should get easier to start saying 'No' again.
 Jess

Dec 26 - Boxing Day! Put Up Your Dukes!

  Actually Boxing Day has nothing to do with boxing.  It is the day following Christmas Day, and was traditionally when servants and tradesmen would receive gifts or a 'Christmas Box' from their superiors or employers.  So there you go.  For Aussies it's also the start of the Boxing Day Test, a cricket test match played at the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG) each year.  This year Australia play Sri Lanka.
  I had a sleepy morning in bed and Mr Smart seemed in no hurry to wake me.  When he did dare venture into his own room to start up his computer, he arrived with a freshly made cup of Nespresso Dulsão do Brasil pod coffee.  Mmmmmmm.. I love being spoiled.  After sleepily slurping my coffee while cuddling Pizza Cat, I was spoiled even further!  Mr Smart Snr made us both bacon and eggs with toast for breakfast!  I may or may not have shared a small piece of my bacon with Pizza Cat.

  Mr Smart eventually convinced me to get out of bed with the promise of a trip to The Good Guys in Preston to check out a Nespresso machine they had going cheap-ish.  Big mistake!  Boxing Day in Australia is also home to the Boxing Day Sales (our version of Black Friday for American readers), the biggest shopping day of the year.  And yikes! Was it busy or what!?
  We couldn't get a park anywhere in the homemaker centre where The Good Guys are situated.  We couldn't get a park at Northland Shopping Centre across the way either.  In the end we went 500m down the road and parked at the new Masters hardware store.
  We checked out the coffee machine and I hummed and harred.  Mr Smart pointed out that I actually only drink coffee at his place and that if I was only considering buying it so that he could drink coffee at my place then perhaps I should hang onto my money a while longer.  I considered his input as we wandered around the rest of the store.  In the end I decided to hold off a while longer, January is a pretty bill heavy month for me after all.
  We wandered over to JB HiFi next and I indulged in a few cheap Christmas CDs for next year.  We the crossed the road to Northland and went to First Choice Liquor, but it seems they don't really get into the Boxing Day spirit if you'll pardon the pun.  We checked out internet/home phone deals with Telstra and Optus, both seemed to be on the pricey side.  And finally we grabbed some lunch and headed home.  By the time we got back to the Masters carpark, it too was chockers!

  Mr Smart opted for KFC but he doesn't eat the potato and gravy (a result of his early years spent working in their kitchens) so I had two little KFC potato and gravies with my Sumo Salad.  My large salad tub was half Chicken Mustard Pasta Salad and half Pumpkin & Beetroot Salad.  Yummy!  And I rounded out the meal with a plain Mrs Field's Butter Cookie.
  Mr Smart Snr had some visitors arrive shortly after we returned so we retreated into Mr Smart's room to watch Star Trek TNG and Doctor Who Christmas Specials including this year's brand new one!  It was really cool and led to us having to watch a prior episode so that I would understand the ending.  In the quiet lull following that episode it dawned on me that I had to go to work tomorrow.  "I don't want to go to work tomorrow" I whined and pouted.  "I don't want you to go to work tomorrow either" Mr Smart responded with a grin, which made me smile again.
  I started making mutterings of goings home but Mr Smart whipped out a few coupons and we ended up walking to Hungry Jacks for a quick cheap dinner.  I had a Whopper which was meant to be a Veggie Burger but apparently their staff are deaf as well as increasingly young... or maybe I'm just increasingly old.  C'est la vie.

  I returned home shortly after dinner, slightly melancholy at the end of such a wonderful lot of Christmases.
  Jess

Dec 25 - Christmas Finale!

  To all my friends around the globe Geseënde Kersfees, ¡Feliz Navidad!, 聖誕節快樂, Vrolijk Kerstfeest, Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel, Fröhliche Weihnachten, Kala Christouyenna, Buone Feste Natalizie, Gledelig Jul, Maligayang Pasko and میری کرسمس !
May your Christmas be warm and filled with the love of family and friends.

  With all the previous four Christmases under our belts, Mr Smart and I were glad to be having a quiet one on Christmas Day.  I headed over to Mr Smart's via the BWS drive-through.  Poor buggers having to work on Christmas Day so the rest of us can eat, drink and be merry.  I grabbed a couple of beers and a bottle of Bailey's then headed off.  Traffic was blessedly light and I arrived just before lunch time.
  Mr Smart outdid himself with the lunchables today.  Prawn cocktails, fresh oysters, saganaki (which I overcooked a little but it was still extremely scrumptious) and a delicious goat curry with rice and roti.  I accompanied that with a couple of glasses of Puddleduck Vineyard Verjuice from our Tassie trip.  That was the last of that bottle so I switched to sugar-free lemonade after that.

  Just before the goat curry was served, we hooked up the webcam I'd brought with me to the system in the lounge and perched it atop the Pictionary box.  We logged onto Skype and made a video call to my family in Adelaide.  Mr Smart got to 'meet' quite a few members of my extended family and it was great for me to get to see everyone on Christmas day.  Dad even carried the laptop into the kitchen so we could say hello to Mum and JoJo who were shelling piles of happy pink prawns.  We had intended to Skype with Mr Smart's sister and her family as well but by then they were eating their Christmas lunch and it just never ended up happening.

  With the goat curry, Mr Smart casually said "I suppose you could unwrap your present now".  Another present!?  I certainly wasn't expecting anything else after my fabulous kindle surprise on Saturday.  Mr Smart explained it wasn't anything big, just something he'd seen he knew I'd get a giggle out of so that I had something little to unwrap on Christmas Day.  He wasn't wrong and I'm looking forward to decorating the newest piggy bank in my vast porcine collection.
  After lunch we settled in on the couch and watched a Doctor Who Christmas Special or two from previous years.  This year's isn't due out until Boxing Day!  Who releases a Christmas Special after Christmas!? Yes he does.  Halfway through the afternoon we went and had a nap.  Oh hell yes, three cheers for the Christmas nap!  It's been so go go go of late it was really lovely to just rest in the warmth of the afternoon.
  Soon after awaking we walked down to the Masterchef's house.  They, like us, were bloated from their big Christmas lunch but still picking at all the leftovers.  If you can't overeat on Christmas then you just aren't human.  The late afternoon headed into evening and night.  We picked away at their leftovers, I had a slice of ham and turkey with some yummy pumpkin and feta salad, a slice of carrot cake (but I left most of the icing), two iced sugar-pepper cookies and a lot of fresh homegrown apricots and other fresh fruit.

  It got quite late and Mr Smart and I walked home in the dark, content with a relaxing day.  We were going to watch Frankenweenie before we went to sleep but after the first ten minutes we both realised the Sandman was on his way and resistance was futile.  Hmmm... I wonder if the Sandman is a Borg...
  Merry Christmas Everyone.
  Jess

Guest Blog! Gingerbread Creativity by Mum

  A lot of you would've seen my series of photos on facebook of my Mum's gingerbread creation for this year:  Tower Bridge in London, complete with moving bridge and music box.  A lot of you loved seeing how crazily ambitious her creation was and so I invited her to write a guest blog about how it all got started.
  Here she is, making her first Guest Blog appearance, my Mum.

Gingerbread

  90g butter

  1 cup brown sugar firmly packed

  1 cup honey

  2 teaspoons grated lemon rind

  2 eggs lightly beaten

  5 cups plain flour

  1 cup self-raising flour

  1 tsp bicarb

  4 teaspoons ground ginger

  2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

  1 teaspoon ground cloves

  1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

  1 teaspoon ground cardamom

  1 teaspoon ground mace (optional)

Mix dry ingredients. Melt butter, honey and sugar (but not too hot).  Add to dry ingredients, and add eggs and mix.  Knead on lightly floured surface.  Roll to 1 cm thick and cut out required shapes.  Bake in a moderately hot oven (180°C / 350°F) for 10 to 15 minutes.  Cool on trays. 

Royal Icing (aka Glue/Cement)

  2 egg whites

  4¼ (approx) cups pure icing sugar (do not use icing mixture)

  ½ teaspoon lemon juice

Beat egg whites a bit till frothy then add sugar and juice. 

  The recipe I have is from The Australian Women’s Weekly magazine dated Dec 1991.  I used to buy mags like that in Op Shops, so it was probably 1992 or 1993 when I first attempted a house.
  I use much more spice than stated in the recipe; a heaped tablespoon of ginger, and heaped teaspoons of the other spices.  I also don’t glaze the pieces.
 

  My first attempts were houses as per the plan, a bit wonky sometimes.  The icing sets like cement, but while it is drying you have to hold the pieces in place.  A couple of glasses either side of a wall will hold the uprights steady, but the roof is a bit more tricky and would sometimes slide off before it set properly.  Later on I got the idea of making dowel joints with toothpicks to hold the bits in place while the icing set. You need to warn people eating it though!



  Getting the icing to the right consistency is important.  In the construction phase it needs to be quite thick so that it makes a good glue, and fills any gaps between the pieces.  When decorating it needs to be runny enough to pipe but firm enough to stick to vertical surfaces.  For icicles you have to get it just right – oozy enough to drip off the eaves without falling off totally.

  One year I decided to make a whole village, and made lots of different sized small houses, and trees, and a little road running through. This is good if you have several small children all wanting to help.  Then came the Sleigh running through the somewhat reduced village. You can find the sleigh pattern here: Click here for JellyBelly Sugarplum Sleigh

  2008 was the start of going seriously overboard.  I found a book in the library that had a very intricate gingerbread church in it (way too difficult) and it had stained glass windows so I thought I’d try that on a much smaller scale.  You cut the window holes in the dough before cooking, and fill them with crushed lifesavers which then melt in the oven.  The electricals were provided by my resident engineer by way of a small torch bulb and batteries inside the church, and a little switch on the outside.

 

  During 2009 we had a trip to the UK to visit Gub and we did a side trip to Paris which I have always wanted to visit.  My sister was asking me later what gingerbread I was going to make that year and she said why don’t you do the Eiffel Tower?  I thought, what a great idea!  And so it began.  I got photos off the Internet and made a cardboard model to figure out how to cut the pieces.  Gub was here for Christmas that year, and she helped me put all the choc bits and M & M’s on.  She also had the brilliant idea to borrow Grandad’s music box that plays "La Vie en Rose" which you can see on the first landing.

  That year Bertie had been playing with gingerbread biscuits, taking them to work for her friends, so she thought she’d have a go at construction and arrived for Christmas with a gingerbread Arc de Triomphe to match.

  2010 Well after that my evil sister suggested that I should do an Australian icon the next year.  Why not the Opera House?  Well this was really difficult.  The gingerbread is not one of those that you can bend after cooking so it had to be bent while cooking in a weird opera housey way.  They’re not just cylindrical or conical.  I found a paper model of the Opera House which helped a bit in the design, and eventually cooked the pieces of gingerbread draped over the narrowing part of bottles.  The bits all needed trimming which you can do very carefully with a knife, but I had so much to do that I borrowed my father’s shaper saw that he uses to make wooden jigsaw puzzles.  Brilliant!  You can see the handle of the music box in the picture – this year was "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer". This project helped me decide that future projects would only involve flat pieces!

  2011 we were in the middle of renovations, and going over to Melbourne for Christmas, arriving very close to Christmas Day.  So this year’s needed to be able to be flat packed.  I decided on a big sleigh.  My grandson helped with the final decoration, and as soon as it was finished he started eating the reindeers.

  2012 Gub got into the act early with a Koala Sleigh.  This was her first foray into gingerbread construction and brilliantly done I must say. This one went to an early UK Christmas dinner in Chester.  I love their little hats!

  Inspiration for me this year came from a trip to Melbourne and a visit to the music box stall at the Queen Victoria Market.  I was idly turning the handles when I found "London Bridge is Falling Down".
  Now knowing that Gub was coming home for Christmas and bringing the Cambridge Rower with her I thought – English Icon! – Tower Bridge!!

 

  So more photos off the Internet and drawing up plans, making cardboard models to cut the pieces with.  I discussed with my resident engineer possible ways to manage the fact that it is an opening bridge.  This has had to be made in many stages.  It is important that the construction icing is set really firmly before you put any strain on it, so several hours at least must be left between putting up the four walls of the tower, and putting the top turret on.  The bascules need to be incorporated into the plinths, as the axle for the bascule to lift is inside the plinth, so I had to make the bascules, and let them set before assembling the plinths, and I let them set overnight, before putting the towers on top.

  The pedestrian bridge had to be placed when the assembled towers were put on the wooden baseboard.  And then it started to sag very very slowly, over the course of a couple of days.  So resident engineer to the rescue – a piece of wood was glued (icing again) to the underside of the pedestrian bridge and propped there for 24 hours to make sure it was really well set.

  Once construction was well and truly finished, the decoration could start.  More photos off the internet, to get it to vaguely resemble the real thing!  I thought a few silver cachous would look nice on the turrets, and once I started on that I just went mad.  There are over 300 little silver balls on the finished article, each one placed there with tweezers.  The coats of arms are white chocolate, with dark chocolate devices.  Santa’s sleigh coming up to the bridge is the same sleigh, just made much smaller.

Click here to see video of this creation in motion!

  For beginners I would recommend the Sleigh as a good first project.  It is the easiest to assemble and you can make it any size you want just by printing the pieces out bigger or smaller.  The house is not too difficult either, but I would advise letting the four walls set overnight before putting the roof on.  Then wait another day to decorate, especially if small children are involved in the decoration process.

  Happy Gingerbreading!
  Mum

Dec 24 - Christmas Eve: Includes Recipes

Dark & Mint Lindor Balls

"Even as an adult I find it difficult to sleep on Christmas Eve. Yuletide excitement is a potent caffeine, no matter your age."
- Terri Guillemets






  I can't actually remember much of Christmas Eve as I write this entry on Friday 28th December.  It was a bit of a nothing day I suspect.  I can remember going to work and I can remember the Marketing Manager asking rhetorically on a number of occasions, "Why the hell are we here Jess?" and frankly, I could see her point.  It was quiet and boring in the office with half the staff away already enjoying their holidays.
  I do remember that I had to enter an incident for my offsider which always takes the better part of a day anyway and I remember texting Mr Smart from the supermarket on my way back from the bank while I bought things for Christmas Day and having him add orange juice to the shopping list, but beyond that it was a relatively dull day deserving only a place in obscurity.  I shall make up for such dullness now by including the recipes for both Broccoli Salad and Icecream Christmas Pudding and a special Guest Blog on Gingerbread Creativity by Mum to swiftly follow!

Broccoli Salad (Make this the night before)
  2 or 3 heads of broccoli cut into small pieces (do not use the bulk of the stalk)
  1 cup of creamy mayonnaise (I prefer S&W Whole Egg, Best Foods is good too)
  170g packet of Ocean Spray Craisins (dried cranberries)
  1 cup of fried bacon pieces
  1 cup of grated cheese
I usually cut up broccoli first then toss the cheese and cranberries in and mix gently, then add the mayonnaise and stir thoroughly until everything is coated, then add and mix in the slightly cooled bacon pieces.  I should mention that my 'cups' are pretty generous too.
Cover with Gladwrap and keep in the fridge until serving.  Making it overnight allows the raw broccoli to soften slightly and the flavours to mingle.
If you want to, you can use slices of the broccoli stalk to make cut out shapes to garnish the top.  I have a mini star-shaped cookie cutter which I use to do this.  You can also sprinkle pine nuts on top at the last minute before serving but I rarely do this.  Slivered almonds would work too.

Icecream Christmas Pudding (Make this the night before too)
  150ml milk
  125g marshmallows
  1 heaped teaspoon of instant coffee
  1 heaped teaspoon of cocoa powder
  50ml Drambuie (or sherry, or rum, or Cointreau etc.)
  300g of dried fruit and nuts*
  300ml thickened cream
  1 heaped dessertspoonful of icing sugar
Put the milk, marshmallows, coffee and cocoa into a saucepan and heat gently until melted (don't let it boil and keep stirring it especially if you have an electric stovetop like me).  Allow the mixture to cool.  Mix the dried fruit and nuts with the Drambuie (or other liquor), stand for at least half an hour so the liquor soaks in and then add in the cooled milk/marshmallow mixture and stir through.  Freeze that for a little bit so that it thickens up while you whip the cream.  Put the thickened cream and icing sugar in a mixing bowl and whip until stiff peaks form.  Fold the whipped cream into the fruit/nut/milk/mallow squishyness then freeze the whole lot in a pudding-shaped basin** overnight.
To turn out, carefully run warm water over the outside of the pudding-shaped basin until it melts itself free.  Decorate as desired and I recommend cutting it with an electric knife.

*You can use any combination of dried fruit and nuts that you like but I use sultanas, currants, raisins, red and green glace cherries, almonds and Brazil nuts. The nuts need a rough chop or finer if you don't like chunks.  You can also add extra mini-marshmallows just after you've folded the whipped cream in before freezing.
**If you don't have a pudding-basin the old-style green Tupperware lettuce storer with lid (minus the lettuce spike) is what I (and Mum) use.

  So there you go, hope you all enjoy making them and eating them as much as I do!

  Tonight's dinner was, I am almost ashamed to admit it, Domino's Pizza.  Almost the lowest of the low excepting Pizza Hut.  I had already decided on pizza for dinner but I rang my normal pizza place, Wanda Pizza, and found it was closed for the holidays until mid-January!  I had a real junk foody pig out and watched the rest of the Muppet Christmas Movie which I'd started almost a week prior.  Despite groaning inwardly about the number of unnecessary calories I was willingly consuming, I enjoyed having a quiet evening and allowing myself a night off from worrying about the state of the house and getting ready for Christmases.

  Today's food was:

• Breakfast was a Ham & Cheese Danish Square from Baker's Delight.
• Lunch was a Bento Box from Sushi Sushi with a little Japanese mayonnaise.
• Afternoon snacks, spread across the afternoon, were three chocolate chip cookies, a Lindt hazelnut praline chocolate, about a third of a tin of BBQ Pringles and seven Diamond Creek chocolates.
  
• Dinner was three-quarters of a large BBQ Pork Meatlovers pizza, a half serve of Cheesy Garlic Bread, a serve of Cheesy Bites, two small tubs of Ranch Dipping Sauce and a serve of Cinni-Bites for desserts.  Carb overload!
• Today's advent calendar Lindor Balls were dark chocolate and mint-flavoured milk chocolate.

  Tomorrow is going to be the quietest Christmas I think I have ever experienced but I am really looking forward to it.  Just me, Mr Smart, Mr Smart Snr and Pizza Cat.
  Jess