I was also stressing myself out worrying about how I was ever going to unwind as I knew I was headed home to an empty house and of course the inevitable clutter and housework that I let depress me when I get to feeling like this. I expressed my angst to Mr Smart via text and he did his best to comfort me throughout the afternoon, but the anxiety and frustration and fear just wouldn't leave me. I was so busy that I worked straight through drinkies and missed all the quizzes and left the office feeling extremely defeated by it all.
I nearly didn't go home. Somehow I wound up at a junction where a right-hand turn would take me home, but a left-hand turn would take me to Mr Smart's, and I really wanted company and cuddles. In the end, the lane I was in turned right, so I didn't fight it. I then nearly drove up to Sky High at Mount Dandenong, figuring that if I was going to be alone I may as well do it somewhere beautiful where the solitude could be appreciated, but I was miserable, unmotivated and getting hungry.
It was lucky I didn't choose to do either of those things, because as I turned into my street I noticed a car parked in front of my house, and when I got closer I identified it as a very familiar car. I walked in the door and promptly burst into tears of relief. Mr Smart wrapped his arms around me and waited out the flood. He's good like that.
When I eventually stopped weeping out all the overwhelmed-ness, I asked him "When did you get here?". He informed me that he'd been sitting on my couch studying since about 3pm in the afternoon, having identified from my texts that perhaps I would need company this evening. He had not been sure whether or not he should tell me so he opted for keeping it a surprise, despite my increasingly desperate texts. Have you ever wanted to kiss and punch someone at the same time? But his heart was definitely in the right place, and I was so very glad to see him.
I made us toasties for dinner, tuna melts for Mr Smart - it being Friday, and corned beef melts for me. I don't know why, but whenever I'm miserable a corned beef and cheese toastie really hits the spot. With dinner we watched one of my old favourite movies Undercover Blues, a movie that saw the beginnings of my Stanley Tucci fandom, and then my feet got rubbed. I could feel the stress melting away through the souls of my feet and in my satisfied tummy. So it was a horrible, horrible day, but it turned out ok in the end.
Friday's food was:
- Breakfast was a 45g Carman's Original fruit-free muesli bar and a 35g Carman's yoghurt, apricot and almond muesli bar.
- Lunch was a Mad Mex burrito; a soft flour tortilla with shredded pork (carnitas), black beans, rice, cheese, lettuce, sour cream, mild salsa and guacamole, followed by a gold kiwi fruit.
- Afternoon snack was a Packham pear, cored and sliced.
- Dinner was two toasted sandwiches, each comprised of two slices of Woolworths Select chia bread, two slices of Bega Strong & Bitey tasty cheese, and 85g Hamper lite corned beef, and a 45g packet of French Fries crispy potato straws.
- Dessert was an 80g bar of Haigh's 64% cocoa, Peru single origin dark chocolate and a large glass of Stone's ginger wine with Schweppes diet lemonade.
I fully acknowledge that a lot of comfort eating went on today, but I knew that at the time and said so to Mr Smart. Life is more than a little stressful at the moment and I just have to get through this rough patch and out the other side. Every day I'm trying, some days I do better than others, but I know I'll get back on top of it eventually.
Jess
No comments:
Post a Comment