Had an angry moment at work this morning. Not just angry. I also felt betrayed, scared, unattractive, and caught completely off guard. I was asked to do something that I was not comfortable with. It was nothing illegal or even controversial, but it involved allowing others to see and potentially judge my appearance and physical form. You'd think this would be no big deal since I've been sharing everything on here, but I felt shocked and blindsided.
I was aghast. Why had nothing of this been mentioned the night before so that I could at least be prepared for it!? I did what was asked but only after belligerently stating "I don't like shit like this being sprung on me" in front of everyone. Not my finest moment but it was the only response I had available in my brain when I was asked why my reaction to the request wasn't gleeful. Actually 'not gleeful' is an understatement, I was on the verge of meltdown and trying very very hard not to burst into tears in front of everyone.
Even now, I am not sure why my reaction to it was so intense. I suspect that it stems from knowing I am not yet looking my best. I have lost the weight so far rather rapidly and I'm still coping with adjusting my own mental image of me. That's hard enough without letting others judge it too. At least if I'd known about it the night before I could have focused my morning on looking and feeling my best. At any rate, my reaction to it all was not a pleasant one and I seethed right through the day.
Now because I know some people from work read my blog, I will reiterate, nothing I was asked to do was illegal or controversial. I reacted badly in part because of the way it was handled but I think mostly due to my own personal circumstances. I can't go into what was asked but I can certainly say that my reaction was not the result of anyone intentionally setting out to make me feel uncomfortable.
After that was all done with, I badly wanted chocolate. I didn't give in, but that wasn't easy. One thing that did make me start to feel better is that I'd been asked to attend a meeting at head office at 3:30pm. A colleague of mine in one of the finance teams is heading a project and wanted some shopping centre based knowledge and opinion on it to get her started. That was relatively rewarding and it did mean I was home a little earlier than usual and able to get dinner and exercise started that little bit sooner than normal.
Today's food and exercise were:
It was bin night so the first thing I did was empty the bins and recycling and drag the bins to the curb especially since I forgot last week. Then I cleaned out GoGo's cage and made her all comfy, put on a load of laundry, stripped the bed, made the bed, loaded the dishwasher, hung out the laundry and finally sat down to write this!
So now it's time to prepare for tomorrow's escapades and get to bed!
Jess
I was aghast. Why had nothing of this been mentioned the night before so that I could at least be prepared for it!? I did what was asked but only after belligerently stating "I don't like shit like this being sprung on me" in front of everyone. Not my finest moment but it was the only response I had available in my brain when I was asked why my reaction to the request wasn't gleeful. Actually 'not gleeful' is an understatement, I was on the verge of meltdown and trying very very hard not to burst into tears in front of everyone.
Even now, I am not sure why my reaction to it was so intense. I suspect that it stems from knowing I am not yet looking my best. I have lost the weight so far rather rapidly and I'm still coping with adjusting my own mental image of me. That's hard enough without letting others judge it too. At least if I'd known about it the night before I could have focused my morning on looking and feeling my best. At any rate, my reaction to it all was not a pleasant one and I seethed right through the day.
Now because I know some people from work read my blog, I will reiterate, nothing I was asked to do was illegal or controversial. I reacted badly in part because of the way it was handled but I think mostly due to my own personal circumstances. I can't go into what was asked but I can certainly say that my reaction was not the result of anyone intentionally setting out to make me feel uncomfortable.
After that was all done with, I badly wanted chocolate. I didn't give in, but that wasn't easy. One thing that did make me start to feel better is that I'd been asked to attend a meeting at head office at 3:30pm. A colleague of mine in one of the finance teams is heading a project and wanted some shopping centre based knowledge and opinion on it to get her started. That was relatively rewarding and it did mean I was home a little earlier than usual and able to get dinner and exercise started that little bit sooner than normal.
- Breakfast was yoghurt, berries, muesli, slivered almonds and pumpkin seeds.
- Lunch was a Mission Wholegrain Wrap spread with half a hass avocado, then topped with around 100g of sliced turkey breast, yellow capsicum strips, fresh mushrooms, Perino snacking tomatoes and alfalfa sprouts. I also had quarter of an unpeeled carrot.
- Dinner was a bowl of spicy veg-heavy chilli con carne. Yummy! It made my mouth all warm and tingly.
- Dessert was 4 brazil nuts and 2 dried peach halves.
- Exercise
was 41 minutes on the cross trainer.
Buffy lost her voice and still kicked butt! - Blood sugar reading two hours after eating was 5.8.
It was bin night so the first thing I did was empty the bins and recycling and drag the bins to the curb especially since I forgot last week. Then I cleaned out GoGo's cage and made her all comfy, put on a load of laundry, stripped the bed, made the bed, loaded the dishwasher, hung out the laundry and finally sat down to write this!
So now it's time to prepare for tomorrow's escapades and get to bed!
Jess
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