July 10 - Anxiety Eats Away

  My original post title was "Eating Anxiety Away" but I'm not, I've been 'good' but the reverse is now true as a result.  Comfort eating is a hard habit to break, and until you try to stop you don't even realise how often you do it.
  I want chocolate, I want a lot of it and I want it now.  But I don't need it.  What I need is for the cause of my anxiety to be dealt with.  I could say that it's another person making me feel anxious.  I'm very tempted to say it, but the truth is no one can make me feel anything.  True, the actions of others can influence the way I feel, but ultimately I am the one doing the feeling.  They are oblivious to the chewed edges of my fingers, the insatiable sugar lust and the nerves stretched to breaking.
  The stupid thing is, the cause of all this food-craving anxiety, even if my worst fears come to be, it doesn't cosmically speaking matter!  It only matters because I am ready for something to happen, and if it doesn't I'll be disappointed.  That's all, not dead, not financially ruined, just disappointed.  And in the end I'll still get what I want eventually anyway!  I just feel like I've waited long enough.
  Some may have picked up by now, I'm talking about the upcoming and long awaited D-Day.  It's scheduled for July 17th, which is exactly one week away now, and there is only one piece of paper missing and I have no control over it.  It's safe to say I don't like things out of my control.
  Since starting this post, I have eaten dinner and rounded it out with two bitter squares of Lindt 85% Cocoa.  It seems to have done the trick to the craving, though admittedly the bitterness was a bit of a cold comfort whens I spotted a Snickers Bar in the same drawer.

  I am still going well on the cross-trainer each day, though my legs have been a little stiff since my long Sunday walk in the wrong shoes.  I will have to keep an eye on it.  An injury now, while I'm keen to exercise, would really be a set back.  That's happened to me before and it has been disastrous previously so everyone keep their fingers crossed.

  I had my yoghurt/berry/fibre topper breakfast today, and I was feeling lazy so it was sushi and with a spoonful of mayonnaise for lunch followed by a Kiwi fruit with skin on.  Dinner was a chicken wellington followed by 20g of bitter dark chocolate.
  My first appointment with the diabetic educator is on July 23rd.  I think it will be interesting to show her, and the dietitian, this blog and see what they think of the changes I've already made.  I suspect I haven't got it right just yet, but I'm willing to learn.
  I suspect menu planning is probably my next step.  Often I find recipes that I want to make, or even just think of fabulous salads etc. but then I get home and none of the ingredients have magically appeared in my cupboards so I eat whatever is in there instead.  Learning to control waste and how to defrost things is probably a good idea too!
  Jess