It's always slightly disconcerting waking up in a bed that, however familiar, isn't yours. I've stayed here hundreds of times but today I just felt off kilter on waking. I didn't get a lot of sleep, about five hours after blog writing and installing all the updates for my netbook. I don't use the netbook terribly often (though a fair bit more recently) and so there were 49 updates all together! When I finally put my exhausted head to pillow, it took mere seconds, listening to the rain splashing down outside, for me to fall into a deep sleep.
It was comforting doing the morning sudoku with my maternal grandparents and there was a sense of needing to hang on to these moments and little traditions. My breakfast was a bowl of cornflakes and milk and a small glass of orange juice. I resisted the urge to sprinkle sugar over the cornflakes.
Once breakfast was done and we were showered and dressed, Bertie and I set off in search of shoes. She needed new boots to go with the dress she brought for the funeral. We tried about six different places but she ended up getting a nice pair of knee high boots from Wittner at Burnside. They were a little more than she had hoped so I paid for one third of the new boots as my birthday present to her.
Along our search we had also managed to procure some bung fritz, a loaf of white bread, some butter and a bottle of tomato sauce. These are the key ingredients in an South Australian delicacy, the Fritz & Sauce Sandwich. Burnside is quite close to our parent's house so we headed there to make said sandwiches and spend a little time with them before the service.
I made a sandwich each for Bertie and me, and we sat down at the table with everyone else and enjoyed them. We were eating a bit early in the day but it's a half an hour earlier here. As I finished my sandwich my Dad looked at me expectantly and said "Yes please". So I made another two sandwiches, one for Dad, half for me and half for Mum.
Soon it was time to head off to Granny's funeral service. We found the funeral home soon enough and went in to greet our fellow family members. Family friends and cousins, both close and distant, came to pay there respects along with her five children and six of her nine grandchildren. Bertie and I were invited to view the body, and we chose to. She looked peaceful, but it brought home hard the reality of her lifelessness. I'm glad we had each other to lean on as the tears, previously held off by logic, suddenly flowed.
Once all the visitors had arrived and assembled the coffin was wheeled into the chapel and we entered and took a seat to the tune of I'll String Along With You by Diana Krall. A civil celebrant ran the service, she said some lovely words and then invited my Aunt B, my Dad and my Aunt L to give the eulogies. Each of them had difficulties getting through them but surprisingly, my Dad had the most trouble. It was hard to watch him struggle and it brought tears to all our eyes. Aunt B and Mum joined him at his sides to help him get through it. Dad said to me later, it's much easier if you don't have to talk about it.
Immediately following the service, all the attendees were invited to place sprigs of rosemary and rose petals atop the coffin and say a final goodbye. We were then ushered into the lounge for tea, coffee, biscuits and to reminisce. Mum and Dad invited the extended family and close family friends back to the house for a barbecue but it was clear that he was going to be one of the last people there. To ensure someone was home to greet the guests, Bertie and I volunteered to head home first and get things ready.
Before the guests arrived we managed to buy beer at Dad's instruction, give the bathroom a quick going over with the Ajax wipes and wash some dishes. Though admittedly we had help with the dishes from the first guests to arrive. Once people started arriving it was a blur of faces from distant childhood memories and catching up on twenty years worth of history.
I had to break for a bit to take Bertie to the airport for her flight home and by the time I got back, I was beginning to feel exhausted and overwhelmed. I had some dinner, three sausages in bread and some salad. I know I had some chips and lollies too at some stage. I didn't bother keeping track. Since the end of the service my shoulders had been riding up and my jaw clenching, I developed a serious headache. When my Mum asked me if I was ok, I burst into tears.
The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur. I was comforted, given panadol, comforted again, tried to distract myself and failed, and worried over what my plans for the remainder of the night would be. In the end, my brother BaconBones and his wonderful wife MinxB took me to their place so that tomorrow I can have fun with MinxB and my two nieces.
No photos today folks. It's late and cornflakes and fritz are not the most fascinating culinary creations. This has been a very difficult day and I am deeply feeling the loss of a this wonderful caring woman.
Jess
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