Jan 12 - RIP Should

   I stayed up until 4am this morning finishing off The Reluctant Swordsman.  I couldn't put my kindle down!  As a result, I slept until about 11am and bleary-eyed, started my day rather late.  There was no point in having breakfast and little point in having lunch knowing I would likely overeat at not one but two birthday functions in the afternoon and evening.
  The first function of the day was an afternoon gathering at The Abbotsford Convent complex for Mr Smart's sister's birthday.  It's a really cool place.  The convent itself is quite an imposing building (as I suppose they were intended to be) but it is surrounded by gardens full of peppercorn trees, artwork, animals and children's play areas.  It also houses one of the three Lentil as Anything non-profit vegetarian restaurants.  I'm keen to try it out but Mr Smart is not convinced.

  By the time we arrived it was quite late in the afternoon and my tummy was definitely rumbling.  We met the large group of friends at the Boiler Room Bar, part of The Kitchen Annexe which houses the complex's three restaurants.  The Boiler Room Bar and Bakery does simple wood-fired pizza and drinks as its mainstays and there were plenty of both on the long table around which everyone congregated.
  Though I was considerably hungry at this point, I knew Mr Smart and I had a sit-down dinner to head to in just a few hours so I stuck with one 300ml bottle of a sparkling blood orange drink and one slice of spartanly topped pizza.
  After greeting everyone and forgetting half of the names immediately, Mr Smart and I departed the party temporarily to enjoy the peace and quiet of the surrounds and explore the complex.

  As we explored the garden area between the convent and the chapel, we stumbled upon an artwork entitled R.I.P. Should by artist Robyn deVries.  Robyn is an Art Therapist of the Melbourne Art Therapy Studio based at the complex.

  I was very excited by this work.  It speaks to me as I'm sure it will speak to Gub, though our reasons perhaps extend slightly further than the artist's own interpretation.  Eighteen months ago or so, Gub rang me from England at some ungodly hour to discuss the implications of 'should'.  She and I were both going through divorces at the time and she had been castigating herself a lot with I should do this, I should do that and feeling very disappointed in herself for then not doing those things.  I was prone to doing this too.
  The phone call occurred because Gub had an epiphany, 'should' was a sly excuse as the phrase "I should do this" leaves hanging the unspoken "but I won't".  By saying 'should' we were absolving ourselves from doing those things that we 'should'.  She and I resolved together to use 'should' more carefully.  I still catch myself doing it of course, I should just have a salad, I should get on the cross trainer, I should clean up this mess, but we are both much better at catching ourselves now.
  So what's the cure for "should"?  It's 'will'-power!  I will just have a salad, I will get on the cross trainer, I will clean up this mess!  Decisiveness is the cure for a bad case of 'should'.  It is also ok to not do things, but we try to be decisive about that too and understand our reasons eg. I don't want the salad, I've been good all week and I'm going to enjoy the duck!  It's amazing though what you can convince yourself to do once you give up the excuse of 'should'.

  As the bar closed and the party wound down, Mr Smart and I said our goodbyes.  Hugs all round and kisses from his adorable nephew.  We headed off to the home of the Masterchefs to collect them and then Miss M for dinner at The Post Office Hotel Dining Hall.  The restaurant was the choice of our second birthday girl for the day, Miss M herself, and it was a lively sort of place with an open kitchen, vibrant with the noise of food preparation and theatrical chefery.
  For entree, the five of us shared a charcuterie board containing chilli-rolled capicola, jamon, Woodside goat's curd, cornichons and grilled bread and a serve of Cointreau marinated olives.  It was all delicious.  Smokey and spiced flavours, silky and grainy textures, salty and sweet all in one mouthful.
  For main course I had twice cooked duck with straw mushroom broth, pickled king brown mushrooms topped with cashew wasabi pea crumble and fried onion pieces.  This was a remarkable dish.  There were a lot of flavours I'd experience before but brought together in new and interesting ways.  It was texturally challenging but definitely an enjoyable meal and given that it contained a full half a duck, it was not bad value for money at $29.

  For dessert we were joined by FlyGirl and MiB for birthday cake made by Masterchef herself.  Lovely dense chocolate sponge with buttercream icing at the birthday girl's request.  It was a beautiful cake but I regrettably neglected to get a picture of it!  I had one piece and then a sliver more cake which left me feeling quite bloated, but happy at having enjoyed a great evening out with friends.
  Mr Smart and I dropped everyone home and then returned to Chateau Smart for the night and for once, Pizza Cat did not run all over us while we slept!  She curled up just below my feet, content and purring at having found a suitable spot at last.
  Jess