I am not ignoring my bad days or excusing them. I'm acknowledging them, attempting to learn from them and moving on. I know there may well be a lot more 'bad' days between now and New Year. It's the silly season, fun things happen and I want to be a part of them. Trying to punish myself by sitting on the sidelines and eating a salad is only going to lead to full blown failure, and it's just not me. As I've stated previously, my goal for the remainder of the year is simply not to gain anything back. That will mean balancing the bad days with good ones and that's what I'm trying to do. I am resolute in my purpose and I remain accountable to myself for my actions.
Anyway, I am sure you'll be pleased to hear that I weighed in today at 106.6kg! I have passed the 20kg milestone which is both exciting and terrifying. I asked both Mr Smart and Earnest, "Is it weird that I'm having mixed feelings about getting to the 20kg mark? I'm glad it's here, but now I'm more petrified than ever that I'll f*ck it all up." They both replied, "Not weird at all". Earnest explained that as it's a big milestone, my next milestone will seem like it's a long way away, and of course he's right. Mr Smart encourage that at some point a person needs to stop looking for results like weight loss, and look to how much better they are feeling. I found both reponses quite comforting.
I cooked myself a weekend breakfast then got on the cross trainer and got it out of the way early. Then I had a shower and got ready for the day ahead, took in my laundry and started doing a few phone calls and bookings and things for our Tassie trip that starts next weekend! I didn't do much else for the day really. Interestingly enough, I most decidedly did not overeat today but the bloated crampy feeling still came at lunchtime. Perhaps it's not related entirely to my overeating after all. I've thought of a couple of other possible causes but I guess only time will tell.
In the evening after I'd eaten an early dinner I headed over to the local pub for my next door neighbour's 50th birthday party. It was nice to catch up with him and a couple of my other neighbours. I didn't stay too long, just an hour and a half before I needed to take my blood sugar reading (5.2). I didn't know many people there but I was glad I went to wish him well. My next neighbourly move however, was to make myself scarce for the evening. I've known him and his mates to kick on into the wee small hours so I retreated to Mr Smart's for the night.
On the way to Mr Smart's traffic was light so I decided to take an alternate route, one I'd only taken once before but knew it should be quicker in the light traffic. Unfortunately, I had forgotten which roads to turn at so I got a teensy weensy bit lost. I did however end up getting a great view of the city as I drove up and over Rucker's Hill.
Today's food and exercise were:
- Breakfast was one slice of dry toasted Bürgen Wholemeal & Seeds Bread topped with two rashers of short cut bacon and one egg fried in spray olive oil.
- Exercise was 43 minutes on the cross trainer and a set of back exercises.
- Lunch was a Mission Wholegrain wrap spread with about 50g of Yumi's Hummus, topped with lettuce mix and carrot and the chicken from one drumstick reheated in the microwave. I also had a small cup of Rosie Cranberry Lite drink.
- Afternoon snack was a 170g Dairy Farmers Thick & Creamy Vine Passionfruit 98% fat free yoghurt.
- Dinner was a serve of veggie heavy chilli.
So now I have written my blog and Mr Smart and I are going to watch a movie so I bid you all a goodnight and a pleasant tomorrow.
Jess
PS: Don't stop sending honest emails just because I occassionally get pissy about perceived criticism, I love you both very much and really do appreciate the support you both give.
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